Hello Beautiful Soul!
May this newsletter find you in vibrant health and the spirit of joy!
I want to share a recent profound realization and lesson about deliberate intention as it relates to creating new experiences in life.
I recently celebrated my 50th birthday and a couple of days beforehand, I started to feel some kind of way. Birthdays are usually times when I do a lot of reflecting on my life. Sometimes that may stir up emotions and have me reviewing lessons from past wounds or challenges, especially if there is something similar coming up.
I'm committed to honoring and sitting with my emotions, no matter if they feel good or heavy. I've learned that they are a guiding light into greater alignment. They provide information to help me recognize how a situation or my thoughts, feelings, and actions are supporting or negating who I am.
As I contemplated an area I've experienced challenge in for most of my life, I felt angry that not much has changed. Anger at myself, others, and God. After sitting with it for a while, acknowledging it by talking through it with a friend, and reflecting on it further, I realized how powerful I felt in expressing my anger.
We're socialized to believe anger is not an appropriate emotion but it sure beats emotional numbness. This detached way in which the ego functions is a defense mechanism that gets activated when your mind perceives that feeling a highly charged emotion is too much and it tries to protect you. While it keeps you from the difficult emotions, it cuts you off from experiencing the good as well.
If you won't feel your anger, you can't feel pleasure.
If you won't feel despair, you can't feel joy.
If you won't feel disappointment, you can't feel satisfaction.
Any attempts to not fully feel the difficult is a sure way to close off the heart and disconnect from your essence and humanity. This pattern can have some detrimental and predictive power over your life and how you show up.
As I explored this challenge deeper, I realized it was stemming from an underlying emotion I've repressed that has kept me from being deliberately intentional. I choose not to be in judgment but to finally acknowledge its effects. There's a big difference between consciously choosing and fully showing up in your experience, and having an experience as a default of running away from something you don't want or are trying to avoid.
Can you feel that distinction?
Once I became fully aware of it, I could see the challenge with greater clarity to move toward healing and being more deliberate to shift out of it. This newfound understanding is supporting me to close another cycle that has run its course.
I want you to contemplate if there is something you've been trying to work towards in your life but feel like you're constantly spinning your wheels. Perhaps you feel like you've been putting a lot of energy and effort into it, but not progressing much. If so, perhaps this perspective can support you in digging deep.
I love hearing from you so reply and share your thoughts or any personal realizations you've had recently.
As always, reach out if I can be of service.
To navigating life with curiosity, and deep reverence!
If you're ready to activate your healing, power, and clarity around a life, work or relationship challenge and want guidance through it, let's talk.